Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Rumors of Robitussin dance in our heads

Today is my day off, so I browsed the Cryobank's Facebook page to see if anything new was going on.  Not really-- except that somebody said they had heard using Mucinex would thin out cervical mucus to make it easier for sperm to travel.  Someone countered that Robitussin had worked for her pregnant friends and that was probably the same thing.


Heather has been prenatal vitamins all this time and I guess we should have been pouring cough syrup down her throat instead.  I e-mailed Nurse Nina, but I suspect she'll say it's a crackpot theory.  Probably that's true, but each time I e-mail her or ask a question, I feel as though she disapproves and thinks we're foolish.

It isn't that she's not right-- there are plenty of things we don't know and don't understand, and I suppose it's hard not to say "Shut up and follow my advice"-- but I wish sometimes she'd do more hand-holding and let us know we're doing some things right.  We already feel foolish, so a "Hey, that's a good idea.  I'd never heard that" would go a long way.

Heather goes in for her next blood test tomorrow afternoon and we hope to inseminate in January.  In the meanwhile, I suppose we'll hold each other's hands.

Tuesday, December 7, 2010

Donor selection, part 9845304

#11900: Liver cancer, pancreatic cancer, colon cancer, unilateral breast cancer
#12338: Physics major, loves polar bears and turtles; striking green eyes
#11097: Resembles Ken Jeong
How do we feel about Malaysian donors?  I think Heather will give this guy-- pure as his medical history is-- a thumbs-down.  Is an Asian baby for gay parents just too obvious?

When the crazy wheel slows down...

Miss Heather went to the clinic again over the weekend-- the 3rd day of her cycle-- for her second blood test, and today I was happy to get an e-mail from Nurse Nina saying that the lab results "looked good" and for Heather to schedule an appointment for her next test on the 21st day of this cycle.  Heather, bless her fighting spirit, said, "Why do I have to go back in?  I could have told that broad there was nothing wrong with me."

Her fighting spirit has been struggling lately, though.  Life and work, and whatever balance we're supposed to preserve between them, have been rough on her.  We're going today to sign up at a gym, and I think Heather's tense enough to consider doing holiday crafts with me; anything to distract her.  Things are getting dire when she agrees to use a hot-glue gun.  She told me the other night that she was ready for a change: "I'm ready to be pregnant," she said, and ready to move on to a new phase.  I think we're both ready for it, and the weeks between each insemination are exhaustingly empty of progress or hope, no matter what we say to ourselves.

Heather is on day 6 of her cycle, maybe only a week from the home insemination we've planned.  We haven't settled on a new donor yet, but imagining the tank in the kitchen... the thawed vials in my cheerily-colored mixing bowls...  It's something.  It's something.