Tuesday, December 7, 2010

When the crazy wheel slows down...

Miss Heather went to the clinic again over the weekend-- the 3rd day of her cycle-- for her second blood test, and today I was happy to get an e-mail from Nurse Nina saying that the lab results "looked good" and for Heather to schedule an appointment for her next test on the 21st day of this cycle.  Heather, bless her fighting spirit, said, "Why do I have to go back in?  I could have told that broad there was nothing wrong with me."

Her fighting spirit has been struggling lately, though.  Life and work, and whatever balance we're supposed to preserve between them, have been rough on her.  We're going today to sign up at a gym, and I think Heather's tense enough to consider doing holiday crafts with me; anything to distract her.  Things are getting dire when she agrees to use a hot-glue gun.  She told me the other night that she was ready for a change: "I'm ready to be pregnant," she said, and ready to move on to a new phase.  I think we're both ready for it, and the weeks between each insemination are exhaustingly empty of progress or hope, no matter what we say to ourselves.

Heather is on day 6 of her cycle, maybe only a week from the home insemination we've planned.  We haven't settled on a new donor yet, but imagining the tank in the kitchen... the thawed vials in my cheerily-colored mixing bowls...  It's something.  It's something. 

No comments:

Post a Comment