Tuesday, January 17, 2012

Having fun trying

One thing that straight couples can claim and that we cannot is that, when struggling to conceive, they're having fun trying.  I don't know how we're supposed to have fun trying, since there's nothing that discourages sex like inserting a syringe into your partner's vagina.  It's never been a silver lining for us.

We just got back from vacation and I followed the DVR'd Golden Globes red carpet specials with scrutiny of Eonline's recent news.  For sure, Michelle Williams looks smoking hot in her GQ spread, and I don't care at all that Betty White is turning 90.  It's like her recent comeback is some sort of gleeful public resurrection of a celebrity who disappeared when that same public got bored with her twenty years ago.  I have the same cynical attitude towards her newfound popularity as I do towards anyone over eight who keeps stuffed animals in her bedroom.

Lost between cynicism and sympathy, I caught up on Khloe Kardashian's baby-making efforts.  I felt a little snarky, as I do where all fertility-challenged straight couples are.  (And, yes, I should feel snarky about the term "fertility-challenged," but struggling to get pregnant doesn't mean you're infertile; there's a distinction.)  I recognize, though, that even if they joked early on about how it's fun to try, two years of trying is super-legit.  That's definitely the cross-over point where it's not fun and you do worry.  She's 27 and he's already got kids, so no wonder they're freaking out.

(Confession: I have a weakness for Khloe.  Sometimes she throws little tantrums, but I appreciate her sarcasm and I genuinely hope she and Lamar stay together.)

I guess it's hard for me to relate when straight couples have unlimited sperm and can have sex three times a day during ovulation.  Their starting point is pretty far off from ours.  And then, of course, doctors are a-okay working with them.  The vast majority of advice online and in books is applicable only to straight couples, so we're left sifting through.  Even medical paperwork is a challenge to us. 

Then again, everyone knows that a lesbian couple has to jump through hoops to have a baby.  Nobody judges them for the time it takes to get pregnant.  Straight couples who struggle to get pregnant have to explain themselves. 

Now that we're back from our trip, we're coming up against the Big Show.  Heather will get a pap smear and do the Clomid challenge, then we do the orientation thing in Nashville, and then it's embryo time.  IVF will be real.  We have to find another donor.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Rachel! This is Aurora from CCB and I just wanted to stop in and say hi, and let you know how much I enjoy your blog. I have been following it now for a couple of months. I am rooting for you and Heather!