Monday, August 6, 2012

"Cramps can mean so many things."

Heather has legendary menstrual cramps.  They're ridiculous.  Or she says so, anyway.  Today she's building a new legend wherein she has brutal... pregnancy cramps.  Obviously, we had to page the on-call doctor.

That's kind of an unfair way of putting it.  Heather wasn't being hysterical (an apt word, under the circumstances), and whatever she was, I was right there with her.  She came home from work late, slumped on the couch, and said her legs and lower back were hurting terribly.  At around 2:30, I'd spoken to a nurse in Nashville who said that Heather's hCG had nearly tripled-- from 55 to 163-- so we should continue to be cautiously optimistic.  I asked when we could be fully optimistic; she said it would have to wait for the ultrasound, which will be around the 17th.

I was excited to report to Heather.  We were all worried her hCG would falter, but it pulled through.  She wasn't inspired, though, which surprised me.  She didn't understand why the cramps were so bad, was unhappy to find that the only sleep aid she could have was Benadryl, and didn't think "night sweats" explained the mid-night wakefulness. 

"Well, that's what we know, baby."

"That Tylenol did exactly nothing for me.  These cramps haven't faded at all."

The big plan was that Heather would get home, get her shots and a food rub, then take the Benadryl and go to bed, but then she said she had terrible pains throughout her legs and lower back.  What I hoped she wouldn't remember was how the nurse said not to worry about the cramps unless there were shooting pains up to her shoulder, and of course she did remember, and of course we both thought she was having a miscarriage, which she articulated and I did not. 

"I'm really hurting, baby."

She looked said and was starting to Google.  I left a message for the on-call doctor and read over Heather's shoulder as she pulled up fertility forum after fertility forum.  Reading those message boards is the quickest way to totally lose your shit, mainly because you get nothing but mixed messages.  One lady says she had terrible back pain just before her miscarriage, then five ladies say that it's totally normal around four to six weeks to have terrible back pain, and then another lady says she's sorry to offer bad news but that she'd had terrible back pain just before her miscarriage, and then Heather gets impatient and searches again. 

So that's what we were doing when the doctor called back.  Now, I want to be pissed because it took her fifteen or twenty minutes, but she was so incredibly thorough that I couldn't be.  I was also pretty stoked because she took the phone, like Jesus did the wheel.  It's totally awesome when I don't have to be on the phone.  Yes, that's what I do for a living, but I really prefer to keep that in the 9 to 5 and never use the phone otherwise.  Never ever.  I don't know what all happened since I only heard Heather's side and most of it apparently was on the doctor's side, but it went on a long, long time, and I so loved that I wasn't a part of it. 

Heather took a bath, Tylenol, two Benadryl, shots, and dinner in bed.  Then I left her to watch Felicity and make macaroni & cheese.  It's 10:30PM and I feel like a late-night badass.


  1. I had horrible cramps with both of my babies. Every time I went to the bathroom I was expecting to see blood, but that never happened. Heather's numbers sound promising! I'm so excited for you guys!!

  2. So sorry she is hurting at the moment and I'm sure you feel a little helpless. It sounds like you like to kind of steer her in a more positive direction, or at least not talk about the negatives in situations like this. Being pregnant can suck at times and every woman's body is different. My wife and I are trying to have a baby, but what I didn't say was before I came out I was married to a man and have 2 boys that are 11 and 14. I can tell you that I slept a lot and cramped more so than I did when I had periods. I am sure she is fine, and the fact it's like "are we in the clear" adds a little more pressure. Hell, I was scared my entire pregnancy's. After I had them for the 1st year I was forever checking to see if they were breathing.

    We naturally go to the google god's, but honestly while that helps us to see several sides to our issues, it's best to find the worst, the best and determine you are in the middle. I am positive you guys are going to get great news!

    I really wish they handed out a personal live-in nurse once you decide to get prego! My thoughts are with you both and I look forward to reading about great news to come. xoxo

    By the way, I am on your blog like a trashy romance novel (those I don't read, but I see the attention they get, lol). I kept saying last night "UPDATE, UPDATE, PLEEEEASE" and my wife of course was annoyed by my lack of interest to anything else.

  3. I wait daily for your updates. I love that your numbers are SO GOOD. I will give you my congratulations now!! I've been watching your birth story unfold for awhile now. I am so happy for you both.


  4. My friend always gets bad lower back pain when she about to find out shes pregnant....she had IUIs and that is how she knew she was pregnant every time! I do know its sooo hard not to think negative but try to stay positve and enjoy the pregnancy!!