Wednesday, May 15, 2013
Amazing. You're welcome.
Barry knew that we were trying to make a baby and asked me when we were going to start that up. I said it would be after we came back from our vacation in June. That is a mere footnote to what came next.
"So are you going with in vitro or...?" he asked.
"We're going to start with just home insemination," I said.
"That's what we did with our dog," he said matter-of-factly.
What the actual fuck? is what I did not say, but thought.
"Yeah. We took her to the vet, and they told me afterwards that they had propped her hind-parts up so gravity could assist."
I would have said something about the rotisserie-chicken technique recommended by Nurse Nina, but there was not an adequate pause, nor do I think the impregnation of lesbians interested him all that much.
"When I picked her up that afternoon," Barry said, "I knew right away. I told the vet that she was pregnant and I could tell. He said there was no way to know because nothing would have happened yet. I told him, though. I knew. I said that she was pregnant, that she would have five girls and three boys, and that one of them would be black & white."
I nodded, waiting for the punchline.
"The vet said there was no way for her to have a black & white puppy given her color and the father's, but I just knew. And guess what she ended up having?"