Sunday, August 28, 2011

Just saw this on PostSecret

Twiddling thumbs

HSG completed.  Heather went in, solo, on Thursday, got 'er done.  The results looked good, but need to be thoroughly examined before Dr. C can give us an official thumbs-up.  We're used to waiting, so it feels about right.

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Fail Blog

Sometimes, I feel like we're treading water.  I don't know what we're doing anymore.  It's just survival.

I remember in college talking about "liminal states"-- existing, unrooted, between two fixed states.  Heather and I exist in the twilight zone between pregnant and not-pregnant.  We're childless but saddled with ever-present responsibility for the child we want. 

Heather's much-anticipated HSG dye test was delayed from Tuesday till Thursday because, although I told the lady last Thursday that Heather was on her first day of her period, we learned through a phone call on Monday afternoon that they can't do the test while you're even spotting.  Which totally makes sense; I get it, now that I think of it.  But I don't think I'm alone in going along with a doctor or nurse's suggestion thoughtlessly.

Tuesday, August 16, 2011

Two more things

Nobody in this house is pregnant yet, and I'm already miserable at both ends of the spectrum.

First, I found another blog entry on the Cryogenic Labs site breaking down the chances of conception.  It's not like we all haven't read this 9374534093 times, but, after the standard chart, she concludes:

What I commonly tell clients I’m working with is the more expensive the treatment the more success there commonly is. However, it rarely hurts to start on the lower level of technology because maybe all you need is a little bit of help to get everything working properly. Work with a reproductive processional to help guide you to make the best decisions for you for your situation. If you have limited time or fewer limitations on monetary resources you may want to start at IVF to obtain the best odds bringing home a baby sooner.

Oh, my god, what have we been doing?  Was this all a waste of time?  Are the next five tries going to be a waste?  When will Heather want to transition to IVF?  Will Dr. C pressure her?  Does it fucking matter?  Yes, yes, we do want to bring home a baby sooner.

Cryogenic Labs: Sperm-Washing and Comma-Splicing

Thanks to Facebook-- another example of the undeniable virtues of this cursed technological universe in which we live and watch summertime-makeup videos-- I read an entry on the Cryogenic Labs about "Donor Motivation."

Now, you'll remember my misgivings about both Cryogenic Labs' and Fairfax's social-media ventures, so I was both frustrated and borderline appeased by their effort here.  Not only did they get a blog entry up, but they also had a decent justification for a Facebook post.  If you're going to get in the way of Funny or Die and NPR, you'd better have something worthwhile, and I begrudgingly acknowledge that an exploration of why donors donate is that.

Of course, it's also not, because what the eff kind of question is that?  Money.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

Does an HSG hurt?

OMFG.  Browsing the Facebook, considering reading an Ebert review, worrying about the Girl Scouts, and I stumbled upon a little post by the California Cryobank folk (as always, the gold standard for social media efforts):
From K & C: Wondering if anyone has an experience to share regarding HSG testing. Ours is coming up next week.

Monday, August 8, 2011

I can't help myself from looking for you

I've felt no need to blog because I've felt no need to think about having a baby.

Heather has left to see her family, and, to eliminate some pre-trip stress, we skipped insemination; her ovulation passed last week with little fanfare.

"You're ovulating today, baby."


It's really nice.

Tuesday, August 2, 2011

The Drugs Don't Work

My friend Sarah asked me today if Heather and I were considering fertility drugs.  I started to say what I usually do, which is that I'm concerned about side effects and would like to delay drugs as much as possible, but then it turned into something else.

What I said next was that I didn't want to put chemicals into Heather's body just because we're impatient with what it's doing on its own.  I realized what an absurd reaction I was having, since I have never hesitated to accept chemical intervention.  I'm on three prescriptions right now and take Excedrin more days than not.  I think skipping childhood vaccines is ridiculous.

"I'm glad you made me do that, baby."

"Thank you for being so anal."

Oh, fuck, yeah.  My obsessive pursuit of doctor's appointments and testing has been rewarded not only with renewed optimism, hope, etc., etc., but also the acknowledgement that I was right.