Heather got her period exactly two weeks after we inseminated. We spent the day trying to believe it was just spotting, until "light spotting" turned into, well, bleeding. Unwilling to acknowledge what Heather already had, I insisted on extra tests, including one we picked up at Walgreens and used at our friends' house. The third test from the other pack turned out to be a dud, doing very little to soothe our anxiety, and I don't think Heather felt soothed by testing in someone else's bathroom with a three-person audience when she revealed the results. Still, it was a friendly crowd, and we all squinted mightily at the test stick, just in case there was an extra line.
After a few days, Heather told me to e-mail Nurse Nina. Before I mustered interest, she e-mailed me to check in, and I told her that it hadn't worked and to let me know what the best times for Heather to test would be.
Much to our delight, she told me that the best days were the 3rd and 20th of the cycle. We'd passed day 3, and day 20 turns out to be Thanksgiving Day. Oh, and she thinks we should test two months in a row, so if she allows us to test this month, we can't inseminate again till at least January.
Maybe God really does hate the lesbians.